Learning to let go.

I like to have control over my life. And when I live with four other people (husband and 3 kids) my life is affected by what they do. SOOOOO...I tend to try to control what they do so that my life is how I want it.

I'm learning, slowly learning, to let go. Let go of trying to MAKE them obey, especially. I am realizing that my kids will not learn to make their own decisions if I am forcing them to make the right decisions. Yes they need to be taught, but not in a dictatorship. They need to learn responsibility and consequences. I want them to be happy, which I know comes by making righteous choices. But THEY need to learn that. I am afraid to lose them to "the dark side." But it isn't really up to me what they do.

It is coming out all jumbled on the screen. In my mind I know exactly what I mean! I think what I want to say can be summarized by this prophetic quote: Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves. It's so hard to let them fall and make mistakes. But in the end, if I don't let them learn now, they will fall harder later. Am I making sense? Thanks for listening!

I know it's been one of those days...

...when the only reason I unload the dishwasher is because my 22 month old son starts unloading it for me. He will unload the entire thing, with or without me. I'd rather it be with me so things get put away! AND he brought me his full laundry basket of dirty clothes, so I washed them. Otherwise, I doubt I ever would have gotten anything done yesterday!

Lice Life Lessons (say that 5 times fast!)

You know, I'm not the only one to learn a lesson from lice. One of my favorite books is The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. It is her story about being a victim of the Holocaust. She learned to be grateful for lice because the guards didn't want lice too, so they stayed away from the prisoners.

My story isn't so compelling, but I learned from it, nonetheless. Last night before bed (just before midnight...) I discovered that I have been reinfested with lice. Or more accurately, for Dad's sake, a louse. Hopefully just one. After a couple arduous hours of combing and shampooing and changing bedding and checking the kids...we discovered that I am the only lucky one. Wahoo. Then, finally came bedtime. At 2:30. Double wahoo.

This comes on the tail end of almost two months of torture at our home. It started, and hopefully will end, with lice infestations. Benjamin went back to school today after a week of sickness. He was sick of it; I am frustrated by all of it. Last night I went to bed praying for answers. "Why? Why me??"

This morning, I have the answer. Make that a few answers. The first answer was that this is teaching me patience in suffering. And gratitude that I can be a stay at home mom and take care of sick kids or just be there for them. Then I thought about making mountains out of molehills. This is suffering? Not really! There are so many people in the world who are so much worse off than me, in health, living conditions, financially...every such way. (Like Corrie ten Boom, for example.)

One last answer to my question of WHY...specifically, why lice? And why twice?? It didn't take long for me to make an important realization: If my kids hadn't brought it home from school 6 weeks ago, I wouldn't have the lice comb and I wouldn't have had any reason to check my hair. I check every so often now. If we hadn't had the first bout with lice, how long would I have gone before checking my hair? Until I had a whole colony living and breeding in my hair? EEEEEW!!!

I am grateful my kids brought home lice last month. I hate to say it. But it's true.

One of my favorite quotes

The first time I encountered this quote was on a handout I received from a church friend, (my vistiting teacher, maybe?) while I was attending college. About 3 months ago I searched for it to use on a scrapbook border for some friends. Two nights ago I heard the quote on a movie called "Akeelah and the Bee" (about a girl winning the national spelling bee--very good!) Every time I hear these words, they hit home.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. - Marianne Williamson

No time like the present!

That is my mantra...for today anyway. I set some goals and decided to actually keep them this time. Goal number one is actually helping me accomplish all of my other goals. Goal #1? Get away from the computer during the day! I am allowing myself two hours a day. It is helping today. For example, I got on this morning and as my hour ended, I typed up my to do list. I have been checking things off of my list! I only get to come back to the computer to update my list, then off to do something else. Blogging right now doesn't count toward my computer time because blogging was on my to do list. It's all that time chatting with my friends on Scrapshare that usually takes up my time. But no more! I'm not abandoning them, just limiting my time there. That's all.

I enjoy how I feel when I get things done...when my house is cluttered, I feel cluttered and get cranky. When my house is clean, and I have worked to make it so, I feel satisfied and can enjoy relaxing and doing fun things. This is all part of the goal I set for the year to learn to keep up with keeping house. Slow and steady wins the race, and I think I am in the lead. Today, anyway.

The plagues continue...

First it was lice: shampooing, combing, laundry, combing, laundry, combing.... Then, colds: coughs, runny noses, trash cans overflowing with used kleenex. Now it's gastrointestinal yuck: well, we'll just say it's comin' out both ends. When will it end? We haven't had a break from it. And I got it every single time! It used to be that I didn't get sick when the others did and I could take care of them. But not this time! The house gets to be such a mess and then when the plague is over I almost get it all cleaned up and then BAM. We get hit again. I THOUGHT MOM WASN'T ALLOWED TO GET SICK???

Head Lice or Potty Training

It's a tough call. Which one is worse: head lice on half of the family or potty training? I despise them both. Horrid, horrible processes to inflict upon a mother. I was dabbling in potty training with my youngest (only because he kept pulling his diaper off) but not now with this horrendous plague infesting our house. I even got it...and let Kyle cut my hair to make the process easier since I have very thick hair. I almost couldn't get the comb to work on my hair because of how thick my hair is. Speaking of which, the comb I ordered and received yesterday was the best $15 (including shipping) that I ever spent. The cheapo plastic combs that come with the kits in the stores are useless, comparatively. Here's a link to what I got: http://www.headlice.org/licemeister/index.htm

Amazing product! It doesn't solve all my problems, though. It doesn't do the mountains of laundry that have resulted from this. Or help my neck stop from hurting from bending over inspecting the kids' heads or combing my own head.

Potty training, well, I have yet to discover a miracle product to help me there. If it weren't for potty training, I might have more kids!

On a more postive note, this has been a learning experience for me. As much as I hate the lice and the potty training, it has been a reminder to me of what a blessing it is to me to be a mom. I would rather deal with all of this than not have my beautiful children in my life!