I'm not in charge of what happens in life. I know that. Mistakes happen, cars break down, people die, houses don't sell, pregnancies fail. I've gotten pretty good at trusting in the Lord that it will all be for the best. But I've still got a lot to learn. When I got my mission call I was disappointed that my start date was a month after my birthday...meaning I was going to get home a month too late to start school in the fall. But, there was a purpose to these things. Kyle's first semester back at school ended up being my last semester of school. If I had gotten my wish, I would have graduated without meeting him. I've always remembered this as a prime example of trusting in the Lord's timing and decisions.
Fast forward to this morning and the phone call I just received. The kids' school is going to have a small preschool next year with just 32 spots. They were using a lottery system to choose who got in. There were about 45 kids signed up. We got the phone call today to let us know that Johnny is #4 on the waiting list for the morning class. Joy. That means our name was one of the last chosen. She said not to hold out too much hope of getting in with that place on the list.
Ever since we found out about the preschool, I have been saying that if he didn't get in I wasn't going to worry about getting him in somewhere else. There aren't many free preschools in town. But now that this has happened, I'm feeling let down and distraught. I'm forgetting what I just figured out yesterday. The Lord is in charge. It is up to me to be a wise steward of what I am given. If Johnny needed school that badly, I'm sure he would have gotten in. Perhaps he and I need more time together. Whatever it is I need to find the faith that this is what we need. But can I just mope for a little while first?